Charmed, I'm sure

So I've never been "smooth" when it comes to talking to guys. But lately, I've been about as smooth as two pieces of sandpaper rubbing against each other....

Today, was no exception.

So there is this guy at the Stop-and-Shop who works behind the fish counter. I've noticed him noticing me the past few months - on the days when I'm hitting the store in my sweats and birkies as well as the days I'm dressed to the 9's and picking up two dozen limes for a Mojito party. He notices. Today, I decided if he was there, I would buy a piece of fish.

He was there.

So, I waltzed through the fresh produce, picking up blueberries and baby spinach and watermelon and make my way back to the seafood counter. As I walk up, I'm staring at him like he is my final DESTINATION or something.  Like I am a robot on "seek-and-destroy" mode.... it must of been scary. Mr. Fish Sticks handled it well though - he smiled at me. So i smiled back, and then realizing how scary I must have looked, immediately shifted my glaze to my blue toenails in a quick jerk of my head, like a little marionette doll whose sting had just been cut.

As I was studying my pedicure, I hear a voice, "Can I help you with anything tonight?"

What I thought was, OH YES YOU CAN, YOU MIRAGE, YOU BRILLIANT REMAKE OF AN 80'S HAIR BAND ROCK STAR, YOU CAN PUSH ME UP AGAINST THIS HUGE ICE BOX, SET ME DOWN IN THE KING CRAB LEGS AND ROCK ME AGAINST THE SWORDFISH STEAKS UNTIL WE MELT ALL THIS ICE

Instead I said something like, "ummm in just a second" - still brilliant, buying more time, plenty of time, no rush - just breath, take your time, time time time, lots of time.....so much time that I read every label on every kind of fish about 5 times. Like there is really a huge difference between Tilapia and Flounder. I studied each fish as if it were going to be on an exam in the morning - standing right in front of the display and taking one step over to admire the next.

Crab Legs -Tilapia - Salmon - Swordfish Steaks - Flounder - Cod - Shrimp - Scallops. That was the order all the fish were in. See, I told you I studied.

Finally, I asked, "How would you cook Cod?" yeah, slick.

He responded, "On the broiler"

"Oh, OK....and....what would you use to season it."

"Salt and Pepper. Some lemmon"

"Ok. Can I have a piece then please? Just a small piece."

And this is when it got wierd:

Mr. Fish Sticks, "You all alone then?"

Me, OHMYGOD HE IS GOING TO ASK ME OUT "Yeah....haha...all alone...yeah, alone and single" STOP WHILE YOU ARE AHEAD YOU IDIOT....WHY IS YOUR MOUTH STILL MOVING "I mean, I always think that people at the grocery store totally judge me when I check out." STOP NOW "Like they look at the stuff I buy and think, SINGLE, this girl lives all by herself."

Fish Sticks, "awwww don't say that"

Me, "yeah, well. I am single. and I do live alone." SO WHY DON'T YOU BREAK INTO MY HOUSE AND KILL ME BECAUSE I AM PRETTY SURE THAT IS WHAT I JUST INVITED YOU TO DO

Fish Sticks, "Well, here you go. Have a good night. Maybe I'll see you around sometime"

Me, "Ya totally. Later" BECAUSE IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, I AM STILL A HIGH SCHOOL KID THAT SAYS CRAP LIKE 'TOTALLY' AND 'LATER' 

So needless to say, I'm still single and alone. But the fish was really really good.