On yoGa

Sunday last. I took my first ever real yoga class. At first I had suggested to B_____ that we go to "Hot Yoga" thinking that yoga would feel better in a hot room and if we sweated out all of our toxins. Well in the decidedly warm over crowded room we were in (the class was free, so yoga mats were nearly overlapping on the hardwood floors) i quickly decided that "hot" yoga would neither be necessary nor enjoyable. Already, in the 2 excruciatingly delightful hours I spent looking over my shoulder at a desperate attempt to mimic the contorted body next to mine, I worked up such a sweat that I felt drops falling off my forehead, my chest, my arms, MY SHINS (Yes, my SHINS themselves were working up a sweat). They fell on my mat with definite "plops" like impregnated rain drops. I was swimming in my own body. Thank God someone was reminding me when to breath, I might have drowned myself. I slipped all over my mat, unable to hold many of the positions (something about a dog facing the floor???) for the full duration before I slipped into near muscular separation and tearing. Not for lack of willpower or effort though.

The instructors taught in a round-robin, each taking over every few positions. They kept talking about opening the heart. Spreading the ribs to make more room for the heart. While this was all nice to think about, I never reached the full nirvana of feeling my ribs separate. My heart did expand though, I felt it pounding up in my ears, my heart expanded enough to fill me completely.
The only thing I was consistently hopeless with (minus that dog thing...) was having complete control over flexing my tail bone. You, sitting there. Flex your tailbone one way. Now, the other. Now, another different way. Move your tail bone without moving anything else. Maybe you had better luck than me. My tailbone was unresponsive.
And then it came time to just lay on the floor and breathe. And nothing has ever felt like that before. The corners of my mouth kept creeping upwards into a smile, like they were injected with helium. Every part of me relaxed. For the rest of the afternoon, every part of me relaxed.
And the next day at the gym, all of a sudden I could stretch further and easier than I had been able to do in years. I felt activated. I felt renewed. I was like toothpaste with fluoride in it! There were proverbial blueberries in my proverbial pancakes again. I felt younger than every antioxidant filled glass of red wine had promised me I would if I just poured another taste....
Yoga. I think I'll keep it up.