I have something in common with Audrey

Audrey Hepburn holds a very special place in my heart. To put it simply, I idolize her. She is the epitome of beauty, grace, poise and class. She is kind and strong. And I'll never get tired of watching Breakfast at Tiffany's.

So you can imagine my elation when I found out that Audrey and I have something in common. Something real, yet intangible. Something so utterly human there is no word in any language to describe it. We both suffered a heartbreak - but not just any heartbreak. It's a very unique kind of heartbreak, one too silent and boring to see in the movies or read about in books. The kind of heartbreak that doesn't tear you apart with self-destructive feelings of inadequacy; the kind that doesn't burn your soul with regreat; the kind that doesn't keep you in bed all day or awake with ice cream all night.

It doesn't make you feel shame or hate. It doesn't pain you beyond paralytical numbness. It doesn't send you running into the arms of another- any other. It doesn't send you into hiding.

You don't feel empty. You don't get sick. You don't want revenge. You don't need to delete his phone number or keep your phone in the freezer to keep from calling him. You don't beg, you don't scream, you don't lash out to hurt others.

So what do you do? You cut off all your hair. You start wearing make-up. You laugh with your friends, you go to movies, you order pizza, you walk the dog. Sometimes you cry - but not as often as you expected. You talk on the phone. You go to work. You go to the gym. You blog. You plan a trip to Europe. You live.

That's all. Life goes on, and you continue living.

You continue to hope, against all the odds, you hope. You mourn your loss, for a future with someone is a great thing to lose. But you don't quit breathing. You don't hold back laughter. You don't feel guilt. You don't blame him or yourself. Because you just know - it won't change anything and it won't bring you peace.

And here I go, rambling on, when Audrey summed it up perfectly and sucintly:

“Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you.”

I told you that Audrey knows just how I feel right now.